


Time Starts Over.

by CrystalMystery



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: F/M, Mainly Chizuru's POV, Not In Chronological Order, POV First Person, Some may be in the POV of other characters, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalMystery/pseuds/CrystalMystery
Summary: Time starts over. Another chance. The events of Hakuouki play out again. Chizuru feels like she's seen this before. A series of events set in a time loop AU. Chapters will vary in length.
Relationships: Harada Sanosuke/Yukimura Chizuru, Hijikata Toshizou/Yukimura Chizuru, Iba Hachiro/Yukimura Chizuru, Kazama Chikage/Yukimura Chizuru, Nagakura Shinpachi/Yukimura Chizuru, Okita Souji/Yukimura Chizuru, Saitou Hajime/Yukimura Chizuru, Sakamoto Ryouma/Yukimura Chizuru, Souma Kazue/Yukimura Chizuru, Toudou Heisuke/Yukimura Chizuru, Yamanami "Sannan" Keisuke/Yukimura Chizuru, Yamazaki Susumu/Yukimura Chizuru
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

The Yukimura Clan bustled with life and peace but for some reason I could never shake a feeling of dread. A feeling that everything would go wrong. As a result I was always on edge, my parents and brother often tried to reassure me we were safe and I knew we were but…

It wasn’t until that day, I realised why. Humans came and set fire to our village, they killed everyone in cold blood all because we didn’t want to get involved in a war. 

I… knew this was going to happen? But how? Why? 

All memories of that day, and the days that came before it, vanished. 


	2. Chapter 2

I loved my Father, I truly did, but for some reason I always felt cautious around him. Something always felt a little off, I wasn’t sure what. Because of this I was always a little distant from my Father 

Years later, I had turned 16 in the year 1863, and my Father announced he would be going to Kyoto for business. He had promised me he would send letters but one day the letters stopped. I knew they would. I tried hard not to think about that. 

Together with Hachiro-san, we travelled to Kyoto in search of him. 


	3. Chapter 3

I had met Hachiro-san when I was very young. He had come to the clinic to visit my Father, when our eyes locked I don’t know why but I burst into tears. 

Hachiro-san, confused as he must have been, tried comforting me as I cried.

“I’m sorry.” Was all I could say, what else could I have said? I didn’t understand why I was crying so it wasn’t like I could have offered an explanation. 

It wasn’t long after that Hachiro-san announced he would grow stronger so he could protect me.

“No!” I had shouted. I don’t know why but I felt like if I didn’t say anything, I wouldn’t be able to see Hachiro-san for a long time. “I don’t want you to. I just want Hachiro-san here with me.”

“...I’m not going to leave. Don’t worry I can get stronger and stay with you at the same time.” Hachiro-san patted my head and offered me a gentle, reassuring smile. 

True to his word he did. I didn’t see Hachiro-san quite as often but he did come to see me as often as he could and when I told him I was going to search for my Father he offered to be my escort right away. 

I was hesitant in accepting at first, I didn’t want to bother Hachiro-san with my problems. “It was you who told me you wanted me to stay with you, was it not?” He had said, I flushed at the reminder of that moment. “Besides I know some people who might be able to help.” I accepted his offer.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Today, Sanan-san and Hijikata-san were going on a mission. For some reason I had a really bad feeling.

"Um, Sanan-san." I spoke up stopping him in the hallway.

"What is it Yukimura-kun? I have to leave soon." Despite that Sanan-san stopped for me and turned around to face me.

"You-you and Hijikata-san be careful okay?" I told him and, filled with sudden determination, I looked him directly in the eye.

"Of course. It'd be problematic if Hijikata-kun or I died here." It wasn't them dying I was worried about, it was something else. I couldn't put my finger on what.

I must have frowned or something because Sanan-san gave me a reassuring smile. "I promise we'll be as careful as we can be." That was all he said on the matter but what else could he have said? He was a warrior and anything else could very well be a promise he may not be able to keep.

"Yes. Thank you." It didn't really help me feel any better, the bad feeling I was getting just wasn't going away. As I watched him walk away that bad feeling only grew.

When Inoue-san told us what had happened to Sanan-san's arm, I wasn't surprised. 


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh, my name? Folks around here know me as Umetaro Saitani. Nice to meet you."

"Huh?" That didn't sound right. I had no reason to doubt his words but for some reason I felt like that wasn't his real name.

"What's wrong? You don't believe me?"

"Ah sorry. It's not that." It was but I hoped he wouldn't notice, or at least I hoped he would just let it go. "That's a nice name."

He grinned. "Thanks. I'm sure your's is too. You're so cute it just has to be!" Much to my relief, he didn't press further on the subject. But if Umetaro Saitani wasn't his real name then what was? And why did I feel like the answer to that question was on the tip of my tongue. 

* * *

"Who was that man you were talking to?" Saito-san asked me as we walked back to the compound.

"He said his name was Umetaro Saitani but..." I trialed off, would it be alright to tell Saito-san I felt like a part of me knew what his real name was (though I could not recall it)? Even though such knowledge _should_ have been impossible?

"But?" Saito-san prompted after my prolonged silence.

"...I get the feeling that's not his real name." Is what I decided on instead. I couldn't recall the name I felt belonged to the man so there wouldn't be much point in mentioning that to Saito-san anyway. 

"How come?" Saito-san asked me, I knew he would want more detail but there wasn't much more I could tell him.

"I... Don't know." Saito-san would easily catch me in a lie, besides I didn't even know what excuse I could give, so instead I just told him the truth. "I just feel it. I'm sorry, that's not very useful, is it?"

"It's fine. Your instincts are there to protect you. Following them is a good thing." Saito-san told me, I didn't think it came from instincts, but I appreciated his attempt at reassurance. "We would have likely looked into his name anyway."


	6. Chapter 6

I awoke with a scream and ran my hands over my body, checking for wounds. Death. So much death. In my nightmare I witnessed myself dying again and again and again. It felt so real, I... I felt like I remembered these events. 

I shivered and, still too focused on the nightmare, I didn't notice the door slide open.

"...Zuru-chan. Chizuru-chan?" A hand was placed on my shoulder, I jumped and came face to face with Okita-san. Images of him killing me with a crazed look in his red eyes flashed through my mind.

I screamed again. "No!" I slapped his hand away and moved backwards until my back hit the wall behind me.

"...Chizuru-chan?" Vaguely, I picked up the hurt in his voice as he spoke. Shivering I tried to tell him I was sorry, that it wasn't his fault I was acting this way but I couldn't, I was too caught up in my own fear.

"What's going on?!" Another voice intergected. "Yukimura, what's the matter?" Hijikata-san walked closer to me, slowly. He must have been trying to avoid startling me.

I took a breath. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was just a nasty dream. "A dream..." That was all I could force myself to say.

"Must have been a pretty bad one. Want to talk about it?" I shook my head, I doubted I could, even if I wanted too.

"I see. I doubt you'll be able to fall asleep again after that." I shook my head. I wanted to do something, anything to take my mind off the nightmare I had. Hijikata-san gave me a gentle smile. "Let me help you up."

He grasped my hand in his to pull me up. My legs felt weak, I was still shaking so I lost my balance and fell into his chest. I choked back a sob, my hands clenching. Hijikata-san said nothing he just wrapped his arms around me and ran his fingers through my hair. I wrapped my own arms around him and cried.

I didn't notice as Okita-san left the room.

* * *

"Okita-san." I had to apologise to him for my behaviour last night. Sure I had been frightened but Okita-san was only trying to help. 

Okita-san didn't acknowledge me, he simply tried to walk away from me.

"I'm sorry Okita-san!" I exclaimed, bowing to him in apology, though he couldn't see that with his back turned. I heard his footsteps halt but I didn't leave my bowing position.

"You're sorry? For being afraid of me?" Okita-san's voice shook as he asked me that. "What horrible things did I do to you in that dream to make you react like that?"

"..." I said nothing as I lifted my head, Okita-san had turned to look at me.

"Tell me?!" He yelled. I jumped surprised at the sudden volume. Surprised, but not afraid.

Not knowing was probably only going to make him feel worse. So albeit hesitantly, I told him. "...You killed me."

Okita-san said nothing, he just closed his eyes and turned away from me, attempting to walk away again. "No!" I lurched forward and grabbed hold of the back of his clothing. "I'm not afraid of you, Okita-san!"

"Really? Your dream says otherwise." Okita-san's voice was cold and filled with sceptism. Underneath it though, I could hear hurt in his voice.

I hugged him from behind and shook my head. "If I were I wouldn't be here right now. That dream... I don't know where it came from but I didn't have it because of some subconscious fear of you." 

"You should be. I'm a killer you know? I've even threatened to kill you. I don't want your kindness. So stop trying to make me feel better."

"It's not kindness! I just want... I just want Okita-san to know that I truly like being with him."

He scoffed. "You're weird. Why would you like that?" Some of the tension in his body released and I smiled. 


	7. Chapter 7

It was late December by the time we reached Kyoto, in fact it would be January of 1864 tomorrow. “Here we are; the Shisengumi’s headquarters.” 

“...The Shinsengumi.” I repeated, I’d heard a lot of bad things about the Shinsengumi, even all the way back in Edo. According to the rumours they were nothing more than violent criminals, who would kill without a second thought. I didn’t think so but I had no reason not to believe those rumours (or at least see them as a possible truth), especially with the evidence stacked against them, so I didn’t know why I felt that way. Everytime I heard people talking badly about them, I felt the strong urge to defend them, to tell the people saying those things they were wrong, to tell them that the men of the Shinsengumi were wonderful people.

...But I did not know them. So how would I know that? How could I say, or think, any of those things with such… certainty. As strange as it was I didn’t doubt those thoughts. 

“Ah, Toshi-san, excellent timing as always.” Hachiro-san’s gaze was now focused on a beautiful man heading this way. Toshizo Hijikata, when I saw him my heart twisted in my chest but beyond that was the unmistakable feeling of relief, of happiness. I remembered this feeling, it was similar to what I felt when I met Hachiro-san for the first time. Happy but so sad. Like I felt I had lost him, even though I had never met him before today. 

“Who’s this?” His violet gaze flickered to mine, I tried to say something but I couldn’t. Not over the lump in my throat, I felt like I was going to cry. 

“Toshi-san, this is Chizuru Yukimura. She’s Kodo-san’s daughter.” Fortunately, Hachiro-san introduced me to him for me. Toshi- I mean Hijikata-san’s eyes widened at the news. “That’s actually why we’re here. She hasn’t heard from her Father and she was worried.” Hachiro-san didn’t need to say anything else apparently as Hijikata-san’s eyes closed in brief contemplation.

“I see. Come with me.” With that he turned his back to us and walked further into the compound. “Yamazaki, inform the others to come to the common room. ” 

“Understood.” A man briefly appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Him too. That odd feeling I felt when I met Hachiro-san and Hijikata-san, I feel it with him too. I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes and forced a smile at him as I noticed his gaze pointed in my direction. He looked away and left just as suddenly as he had come.

“My, everyone?” Hachiro-san seemed surprised at the order. Hijikata-san didn’t answer, merely continuing to walk towards the common room. 

'Everyone' arrived at the common room one-by-one, each time I felt that feeling again. I knew these men… and I had lost them. But that was impossible, wasn't it? I knew it had to be but… It felt so _real_. 

I was impressed with myself when I managed to avoid bursting into tears before the very last man entered the room. It was only then that the tears flowed free. 

I must have given them quite a shock as silence had fallen while the men awkwardly looked between each other. Through my sobs I tried to offer an apology, I'm not sure if the words actually came out properly but they seemed to understand. 

They waited for my tears to stop before continuing on. I was really grateful. Perhaps my thoughts about them were accurate. 

"I'm okay now, I'm really sorry." I sniffled but the tears had stopped, I probably looked awful but nobody seemed to mind at all. 

"Nah, it's fine. What brought that on?" I frowned at the man's question, not sure how to answer. 

The red haired man beside him must have misinterpreted because he turned to the man and hit him over the head. "Shinpachi, it's none of our business." 

I shook my head. "No! That's not it! I just… Don't know how to answer that question that's all. I don't know how to explain it." I did kind of know what had made me upset, I knew what I was feeling and what had triggered it but I didn't know _why_. It was all hard to explain. Not in a way that wouldn't make them think I'm crazy at least. "I'm sorry."

"No! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked you that! Sano's right, it's really none of our business." He seemed flustered as he apologised to me and I shook my head again, I would have said something to him in response but before I could Hijikata-san spoke up once more.

"In any case we have business to get to. Now tell them why you're here." 


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up with a gasp. Why did I dream that? My face must have been bright red. I didn't know how I'd react if I ran into Sano- Harada-san today. Something that was pretty much guranteed since we lived in the same building. Maybe I could just stay in my room all day. No, then they'd worry about me. Besides I didn't want to just neglect my work because I was embarrassed to have dreamt about Harada-san in that manner. Releasing a sigh, I got up to get ready for the day.

"Good morning Chizuru." Harada-san greeted me as I walked into the kitchen and I froze. I was hoping I could go until at least a little longer for this to happen.

"What are you doing here?!" I blurted out, not stopping to think about how rude it was of me to say that.

"What am I...? I'm supposed to be making breakfast with you today, remember?" Fortunately Harada-san didn't seem to mind how rude I was being. He gave me a concerned look as he walked up to me putting his hand on my forehead. "Are you okay? You're really red. You looked pretty flushed as you walked in here too."

I stepped away from him, covering my face with my hands. "I-I'm fine!" With my hands covering my face I couldn't see Harada-san's expression, so I couldn't tell what he was thinking about the situation.

"Alright if you say so. Let me know if you need to rest though okay?" I peeked at him through my fingers and he smiled at me. I couldn't help smiling back, though I felt my face flush even more. His smile reminded me of my dream. The dream where his hands and mouth ran over my body, the dream where he asked me to call him... I really should be answering him!

"I will. Thank you very much, Sanosuke-san." The name was out of my mouth before I knew it and as soon as I realised what I had just said I froze up again, Harada-san's eyes widened and he stared at me. "I-I'm so sorry! I-" Harada-san cut me off before I could finish.

"Is that why you're so red?" He chuckled and his eyes glinted with amusement as he teased me. "You wanted to call me by my first name."

"That's... I... Um..." Flustered I tried to say something, anything but nothing really came out right.

Harada-san placed his hand on my head and gently patted it. "It's okay. I don't mind. You can call me Sanosuke if you want. Would you like some time to cool down?" He asked, I shook my head and moved to get breakfast started. I had a job to do and focusing on it would probably be my best bet for cooling myself down. I avoided Sanosuke-san's gaze as much as I could while we made breakfast together.

I can't believe I did that.

...At least I didn't mention anything... suggestive. That would have been far worse.

...I hope I can keep that up.


	9. Chapter 9

The girl Okita-san had said looked like me turned and gave me a smile. Looked like me? Something about her seemed... I wasn't sure, I couldn't pinpoint it.

_"I am your brother."_

"Brother?" I questioned aloud. I didn't have a brother. So why...?

Kaoru-san froze in her tracks and turned back to me. "You remember me?" Her, no, his voice lowered into what I knew was his natural pitch.

I had heard him say he was my brother in that pitch. But... How...? That should be impossible because... This was the first time I was meeting him. However this was also the first time someone reacted in the way Kaoru did. I wasn't sure how to react to that.

I shook my head. "No, no, I don't know you! I don't... know why I said that."

"You...! Don't you dare mess with me!" When Kaoru lunged at me, his eyes wide in anger I wasn't surprised. I had been expecting this reaction. I still didn't know why I knew these things. The more it kept happening the more confused I got. The more frightened I got.

"Kaoru, you don't have to... I..." I had to tell him something, I had to! I just didn't know what.

The next moment Kaoru was thrown off me and Okita-san and Heisuke-kun were stood in front of me protectively. Kaoru just glared in response, shaking in his anger. He looked between Heisuke-kun, Okita-san, their men a few feet away and me. Eventually he huffed and turned around. "I know better than to push my luck here." That was all he said before he disappeared into the crowd. 

"Are you alright Chizuru?" Heisuke-kun asked turning around to face me. I nodded.

"Yes, he didn't hurt me."

Heisuke-kun frowned and opened his mouth. "Chizuru-chan, let's go back." Okita-san interrupted whatever Heisuke-kun was going to say.

"Yes." I was probably going to be questioned about this encounter when we got back. 


	10. Chapter 10

Again and again and again. How many times had it been now? I'd lost count. There had been the ones before I ever remembered anything, there had been the ones where I was starting to think I'd seen this before, there were the ones where I knew I'd been through this before. How could I make it stop?

A part of me was grateful for the chance to start again, it gave me a chance to save all of my loved ones after all. I had yet to succeed. Even if I managed would it even stick? Or would time just end up starting over again?

"I'm tired of this. I want it to stop." But I didn't know how. I didn't even know what was causing this. How could I even find out?

Was this going to continue forever? I just want to live out the rest of my life with them and move on to the afterlife, where I would hopefully still be with them. Maybe this was the afterlife, it's not like I could say for sure it wasn't. If so it must be hell. Was there any escaping it?

"Does our suffering have to remain forever?"

There had been a few timelines where they had shown signs of remembering things too. I was... glad. I felt horrible for feeling that way. If they remembered... if they remembered it meant they too would experience what I was. I didn't want them to suffer more than they already were, more than they already have, but... but the idea of not being alone in this was comforting in a way.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for feeling that way." I didn't want them to suffer, truly, but I don't want to be alone anymore. "I just can't handle this alone!"


	11. Chapter 11

"Sanosuke-san..." As soon as the name left my mouth everyone in the room froze.

"Since when did Chizuru call you that?!" Heisuke-kun exclaimed, looking a little upset about it.

"Oi, Heisuke. She already calls you by your given name, you have nothing to be upset about." Nagakura-san hit him on the head and Heisuke-kun yelped and glared at him but before Heisuke-kun could say anymore Nagakura-san continued to speak. "I on the other hand do. She doesn't call me Shinpachi and a little sister doesn't usually call her big brother by his family name."

"While that is true, that's not why you want her to call you by your given name. You're in denial Shinpat-san." Okita-san smirked and Nagakura-san spluttered, his face turning bright red as some of the other men agreed. As Nagakura-san tried to protest, Okita-san leaned closer to me. "I, on the other hand, would very much like you to call me Souji for different reasons, Chi-zu-ru-chan." It could be hard to tell sometimes when Okita-san was teasing and when he was not but at the same time he wouldn't offer, even if he was just teasing, if he wasn't okay with the idea. "Is that a no?" Okita-san pouted as I thought.

"No, that's not it!" It was only after I said that, I realised he was almost certainly teasing me with that one. I looked away from him as he grinned at me victoriously, I definitely wouldn't be able to back down now. "If you'd be okay with that... Souji-san."

All eyes turned to us once more, Kondou-san and Inoue-san chuckled, Oki-Souji-san gave a smug grin and everybody else stared with varying expressions on their face.

"Are you pouting, Hajime-kun?" Souji's gaze turned to Saito-san's as he asked this. From what I knew, what I was supposed to know, about Saito-san I shouldn't have felt like that was familiar to me at all. Just another thing to add to the long list of things that were familiar when they shouldn't be, I guess. "You know if you be honest she might call you 'Hajime-san'."

Saito-san said nothing in response, though I could have sworn I saw him blush and judging from the amused sound coming from Souji-san, I hadn't been the only one to see it.

"You're the last person who should be telling anyone to be honest, Souji."

"Oh, don't act like you're better, Hijikata-san. You want her to call you by your given name too." Before Hijikata-san could say anything in response, Souji-san turned to look back at me. "Besides I was being honest. I did ask you, right Chizuru-chan?" I nodded, though he'd asked in a teasing way, it was true that he had asked me to.

"He makes good points, Toshi." Kondou-san nodded his head in his own show of agreement and Souji-san beamed.

Apparently unable to think of anything else to say Hijikata-san went quiet, his brows furrowed and his cheeks flushed. So maybe he didn't say anything because he was flustered instead? Or perhaps it was a mixture of both?

"Hey, Chizuru-chan, you'll call me by my given name too, right?" Distracted from Hijikata-san by Nagakura-san's question, I nodded my head.

"If that's what you want." Shinpachi-san gave me a toothy grin in response.

"It seems like you set off a chain reaction, Chizuru." Sanosuke-san told me, I agreed. I'd called one person by their given name and now two others had asked me to call them by theirs.

"It seems so." I smiled, there was a warm feeling in my chest. Calling them by their given names just felt right, like I used to refer to them that way all the time. It was a little strange but I decided not to focus on that. Instead I wished to focus on the closeness I felt to them, the happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think Hijikata would offer at this point in time and I couldn't think of a way of having Chizuru refer to Saito as Hajime so that's why she doesn't end up calling either by their given names here.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look guys a point of view that isn't Chizuru's. Finally making good on that tag that states there might be times with different points of view.

Fuming, I made my way back to the Nagumo Clan residence. I had thought she remembered me and she did. Otherwise she wouldn't have called me her brother but then...! Then she'd had the nerve to claim she didn't know me! "Chizuru, why would you say that?" I asked aloud, not really caring who heard me. I had gotten my hopes up and she'd taken them away without mercy. That was cruel.

It wasn't until much, much later that I realised something. Perhaps she did remember me but not in the way I really wanted her too. Maybe it was happening to her too, that feeling of deja vu, of having seen this before.

I certainly hoped so, it wasn't as good as her remembering our childhood but at least it meant that she'd understand _something_ that I was going through. Finally, we'd share in our experiences like twins should once more.

Of course I didn't have much of a basis for this, I'd have to look into it more, but if it turned out I was right well... I'd be happy. Such a thing would be frightening, hard on her. She'd undoubtabely suffer the more she remembered. I was sure of it, how could she not in a situation like this? 

The thought just made me happier. After all, after all the suffering I've enjured, she deserves a taste of it too.


	13. Chapter 13

Okita-san started coughing, before he had even finished, I knew what was to come. When he pulled his hand away there would be blood. I knew this. So when I saw it, I wasn't surprised. Okita-san frowned at me, possibly because he found it strange I hadn't reacted. At least not in the way he had expected me to react. "You knew." He stated, his eyes narrowing further.

"...I... had a feeling." I replied, not saying anything would likely only serve to frustrate him but I couldn't give him more than what I had. After all, I still didn't have the answer to how I knew so many things I shouldn't myself.

"I see." For a moment he looked skeptical but to my surprise... "Well, you are a doctor's daughter, It's possible you would have noticed something was off." He seemed to accept it.

That wasn't it at all but I wasn't about to tell him that. If he started demanding an explanation, well, I still couldn't tell him the actual reason. Even if I did understand what was going on with me enough to give a comprehensive explanation, he'd probably think I was crazy. So I just nodded.

"You got any idea what it is?" Tuburculosis, I thought immediately but I didn't say it out loud. Okita-san may have let my knowing about his coughing up blood go but would he do the same if I told him exactly what it was? Okita-san had not been diagnosed yet but he knew what it was, or at least he had a strong feeling, I was sure of it.

"It... could be any number of things." I started. If I just told him straight out, Okita-san would almost certainly be suspicious, but I couldn't just _not_ tell him. "Lots... lots of illnesses have your symptoms."

Okita-san nodded in agreement. "So, you don't know what it could be?"

"..." Silence fell between us as I took a breath. "If... if you could tell me more-"

There was another moment of silence and then Okita-san continued. "I'm pretty sure it's Tuburculosis. Can you confirm that?" I blinked, surprised he had told me that. I had expected him not to mention it, especialy not by name, but perhaps Okita-san had realised hiding it at this point would be futile. I doubted he knew that I know exactly what his illness was but he probably realised that I was aware it was fatal. 

I nodded. "Yes."


End file.
